Techniques Step-by-step guide · 7 steps

The kiss, from the first to the deepest

The art of kissing step by step

From little kisses on the lips to the deep kiss, from the nape of the neck to the ear, all the way to the kiss that undresses: here is the art of kissing move by move, with the right rhythm, hands that join in and the classic mistakes to avoid.

Duration15 min

DifficultyEasy

IntensityGentle

Start

A couple sitting on the edge of the bed share a deep kiss, one hand on a cheek, the other on the nape of the neck, in the warm glow of a bedside lamp. — Step 1The first kissLips only

See in Photo Comic art

The first kissLips only

Face to face, very close to each other, start with the lips alone: shower your partner with little kisses. The tongue will have to wait its turn.
Focus on the point of contact, on the velvety texture of their lips and how soft they are. The lips are a highly erogenous zone and their nerve endings are extremely sensitive: that's where a kiss gets its power to arouse.
Play on the contrast between dry and wet: a few kisses with dry lips, then a few more with moist ones. That contrast is part of the pleasure, so take the time to savour it.
Your hands join in right from the start: stroke their face.

The classic mistake

Rushing things. There's no hurry, you have all the time in the world.

Licking, sucking, tasting their lips

The kisses linger. Lick their lips, then gently draw them in between yours.
Run your tongue over the corner of their mouth, then along the inside of their lips. Savour the taste of their mouth.
Vary the pressure: press firmly, suck, draw their lips in, then come back to the tiniest of kisses.

The classic mistake

The kiss that never changes, same pressure and same move from start to finish. Alternate dry lips and wet lips, little kisses and firmer ones.

The tongue takes the stageThe deep kiss

When your mouths part, the tongue can come in. Tongue against tongue: that's the French kiss, the deep kiss. This meeting of mouths and tangled tongues sets off strong arousal, and a real sense of melting into each other.
Explore: stroke their tongue with yours, wander through their mouth, massage their gums with your tongue. Teeth have their part to play too: nibble their tongue, very gently.
In a kiss, each of you is both the one who enters and the one who receives. Let their tongue come into your mouth, then go looking for theirs.
As for breath, every now and then breathe them in, mouth against mouth.

The classic mistake

A hard, conquering tongue from the very first second. Most people prefer a tongue that's relaxed and soft. The power will come once arousal has gone up a notch and calls for it.

In a kiss, each of you is both the one who enters and the one who receives.
Step 3 · The tongue takes the stage

RhythmSlow at first, firmer later

At first, leave a little pause between kisses, so each touch can resonate before the next one. This slow tempo builds the tension.
Then build up in stages, faster and firmer, to find what suits you both. Alternate pressure and speed, and take breaks by going back to little kisses on the lips.

The classic mistake

Imposing your own tempo. Pressure and rhythm vary from one person to the next: follow their reactions, let yourself be guided, and ask them which rhythm they like best.

HandsThe face, the nape, the neck

While your mouths seek each other out, your hands aren't left out: stroke their face, their nape, their neck.
Vary your touch: strokes with the whole hand, feather-light brushes with your fingertips or nails.
An arm slipped around their waist draws you closer, while your other hand stays free to caress.

The classic mistake

Limp hands, resting there without moving, while the mouth does all the work.

The neck, the nape and the ear

Your mouth leaves their lips and slides down to the neck. Kiss it, nibble it, tease it with the tip of your tongue.
Make a stop at the nape: it's one of the body's sensitive zones, for her as much as for him.
Work your way up to the ear and nibble it. The ears are erogenous zones, in men too (there's more to a man's body than what's between his legs).
Everyone has their own map of sensitive spots, and it's one you draw together: watch how they react, and tell them where you like to be kissed.

The classic mistake

The timid brush that tickles. If the neck or the nape is ticklish, switch to a broader, firmer touch (lips pressed fully, hand flat), then go back to light brushes once the skin has woken up.

The kiss that undresses

Now the kiss sets off on a journey: as the clothes come off, your mouth travels over the whole body and stops at the sensitive zones. From chin to toes, the whole body is erogenous.
A few stops not to miss: the crook of the elbow, the wrists, the armpits, the chest, the navel, the knees, the inner thighs, and even the soles of the feet (with a firm touch first, to avoid tickling).
At each stop, mix it up: kisses, licks, little nibbles. Your hands follow your mouth, caressing or barely brushing.

The classic mistake

Making a beeline between their legs. That's far from the only place that loves kisses: save it for later, once you've explored the whole body.

Who it's for, and when

Who it's for: everyone, beginners included. Kissing is an art in itself, and you refine it one move at a time. A kiss assigns no roles by gender: with mouth and tongue, both partners give and receive at once. Straight, gay or lesbian couples: there's room for everyone.

When: any time. A kiss can express affection, passion or respect, without asking for anything more. It's also the perfect prelude to making love, and a lovely way to end: after pleasure, a tender kiss on the lips.

Precautions: everyone has their sensitive zones, and zones that don't respond (some women, for example, get no pleasure at all from having their breasts caressed). Watch, ask, don't insist. A cold sore (oral herpes) is highly contagious: wait until it has completely gone before kissing on the mouth. Pain, an infection or discomfort that won't go away, in the mouth or anywhere else: talk to a doctor or a sex therapist.

Variations to take it furtherVariation 1: the hungry kiss

For the moments when desire surges: the deep kiss with your whole mouth, holding nothing back. The idea fits in a single image: you're devouring your partner (symbolically).

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The album · Photo

The kiss, from the first to the deepest, in pictures.

A couple sitting on the edge of the bed share a tender kiss, her hand on his cheek, his fingers brushing the nape of her neck

A couple kissing tenderly in a bedroom lit by a bedside lamp, eyes wide open, gazing deep into each other's eyes.

A couple kissing slowly in the shower, shoulders bare, hands in each other's hair and on the nape of the neck, in the warm evening steam.

4 more illustrations for members The same scenes in Comic art. Members only: a free account is enough, no bank card. See them

Your questions

What people wonder.

Why does a kiss have such a powerful effect?

Because the mouth, the lips and the tongue are among the most erogenous zones of the body. The nerve endings in the lips are extremely sensitive, and a kiss draws on that sensitivity as a source of arousal. The touch of tongues adds a real sense of melting into each other.

And teeth, do you use them?

Yes, for nibbling: their tongue during a deep kiss, their neck, their ears. Go gently at first, then adjust according to how they react.

Does a kiss always have to lead somewhere?

No. A kiss can express affection, passion or respect, and be complete in itself. It's also the perfect prelude to making love: it's up to the two of you to decide how far it takes you.

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