Techniques Step-by-step guide · 9 steps -18

A blowjob built on trust

Mouth, hands and rhythm

He lets go, you control the pace and the depth: that's the whole power of a blowjob built on trust. Here's how to get your mouth and hands working together, play with the glans and saliva, keep your teeth out of the way, avoid gagging and decide together how it ends.

Duration20 min

DifficultyMedium

IntensityIntense

Props un miroir

Start

At the edge of the bed, he leans back while she, kneeling on the rug between his knees, seen from behind, keeps her hands on his thighs. — Step 1Start from your own desire, and talk first

A couple sitting at the edge of the bed, forehead to forehead, talking and smiling in the golden light of a bedside lamp, her hand resting on his chest. — Step 1Start from your own desire, and talk first

See in Photo Comic art

Start from your own desire, and talk first

The most beautiful thing about a blowjob is the trust it takes: he lets go, and you're the one leading. But the desire has to come from you.
Beforehand, share what you want and what worries you, starting with the ending: in your mouth or not (step 9). Better to settle that with a clear head than at the last moment.
During, guide each other with simple words (slower, there, like that) or a hand that shows. Something bothering you? Say it right away: a move you dislike and let slide tends to come back.

The most beautiful thing about a blowjob is the trust it takes: he lets go, and you're the one leading.
Step 1 · Start from your own desire, and talk first

Start over his clothes

Surprise him when he's expecting nothing: a hand on his crotch, over his pants, stroking without pressing, your eyes locked on his. Let his body answer you.
Undo his fly, brush his cock with your fingertips, then free it without rushing.
When he's hard, the glans is often already uncovered. If not, slide the foreskin back very gently, with your hand or your lips, without forcing.

Kneeling on the bed in black lingerie, she rests a hand on his jeans and looks him in the eye, he smiles, shirt open. AI-generated illustrations.

Get to the right height

On your knees in front of him, mouth level with his cock: this is the position that gives you the most control, since the angle, the pace and the depth are all up to you.
For a longer session, choose something more comfortable: him lying on his back, you kneeling or on all fours between his legs. Far easier to sustain than the porn-movie pose, him standing and you on your knees at his feet.
Look for his eyes as often as you can. A good part of the effect comes from your gaze, the rest from your hands.

Kneeling on the bed facing him, she looks up to meet his gaze, one hand on his hip, in the golden light of a bedroom in the evening. AI-generated illustrations.

The glans first, with the tip of your tongue

Start with little flicks of the tongue: the glans, then the frenulum, that fold of skin just below it, then the corona, the ridge that circles the glans.
Slide his pants down and come back to the glans. Then let your tongue follow the shaft down to his testicles, plant a few kisses there, and make the trip back up.
Take your time: here, only your tongue is working. Your whole mouth comes next.

A red-haired woman in black lingerie, kneeling on the bed, kisses the hip of her standing partner, under the golden light of a bedside lamp. AI-generated illustrations.

Take him in, teeth out of the way

Open wide and take him in with a light suction, lips folded over your teeth and tongue resting on the bottom ones. It's soft tissue wrapping around him, never enamel.
The glans, and the frenulum even more so, are very sensitive: any rubbing against teeth is felt instantly, and not in a good way.
Then the back-and-forth: as deep as feels comfortable, back up to your lips, and again, with a few strokes of the tongue and a bit of suction along the way.

In the golden light of the bedroom, she kneels on the bed, her cheek against his hip, looking up at him, his hand in her hair. AI-generated illustrations.

Hands with the mouth

One hand under his testicles: cradle them, massage them with your fingertips, never squeezing. Lots of men love this, and it gives your fingers something to do.
The other hand wraps around the shaft and follows your mouth, up and down, in the same movement: it carries the caress where your lips don't reach.
Jaw getting tired? Your hand carries on alone, with a simple, gentle stroke, while you relax. It can take over before, during or after, and even replace your mouth on nights when you don't feel like it.

A woman in black lingerie, kneeling on the bed, rests her cheek against the hip of her standing partner, in the golden light of a bedroom at night. AI-generated illustrations.

Vary the rhythm

Play with pressure and speed, with your mouth as well as your hand: tighter, lighter, faster, slower. Switch things up rather than repeating the same move.
Change moves too: long strokes from your throat to the edge of your lips, little flicks of the tongue on the glans, then back to suction.
Build in pauses, or it could all be over very quickly. The tip below tells you how.
A slurping sound, a moan that slips out: it often turns him on. No need to overdo it, this isn't a competition.

In the bedroom, she pauses, kneeling on the bed and smiling, while he watches her, one hand on her shoulder, short of breath. AI-generated illustrations.

Depth, without gagging

You decide how deep. He doesn't push and lets you do it, at least while you find your bearings.
To go further without forcing: mouth wide open, plenty of saliva, jaw and throat relaxed. Stick your tongue out too, nice and flat: it clears the way.
Another adjustment: him kneeling, you sitting back on your heels, tilt your head well over to the side. The angle changes, and your throat makes more room for him.
Come back up regularly to breathe. Past the uvula (that little piece of flesh hanging at the back of your mouth), the gag reflex is almost unavoidable without practice: nothing says you have to go that far.

She sits back on her heels, head leaning against him, eyes closed, hands on his thighs, while he rests his hands on her shoulders. AI-generated illustrations.

Feel it coming, and finish as agreed

A cock that gets even harder, hot and throbbing, hips starting to push toward you in little thrusts: he's about to come.
Want to make it last? Pause or slow down. Want him to come? Keep exactly the same move and the same rhythm.
You chose the ending together. In your mouth if you want it, and swallowing is never compulsory. If not, he finishes by hand in front of you, or on your skin.
If the idea of taking it in your mouth puts you off, say so beforehand: a no said calmly in advance lands much better than pulling back at the last moment.

At the edge of the bed, he lets his head fall back while she, kneeling, keeps her hand on him and her eyes on his face. AI-generated illustrations.

Who it's for, when

Who it's for: couples who want to trust each other. He lets go, and whoever is giving is the one leading. No special talent needed: a blowjob is something you learn.

In the mood or not: if blowjobs only half excite you, the appetite often grows with practice, as long as the desire is yours and not a concession. And if one of your partner's fantasies doesn't appeal to you, you can say no without justifying yourself.

When: whenever the urge takes you, including to surprise him. Above all, give yourself time: the pauses are part of the pleasure.

Precautions: the glans and frenulum are hypersensitive, teeth stay out of the way (step 5). Tired jaw, your hand takes over. Sore knees or back, pregnancy, reduced mobility: choose the most comfortable position (step 3) and ask a health professional if you have the slightest doubt.

Health: if throat or jaw pain persists, if there's irritation or you suspect an infection, talk to a doctor. With a new partner or without recent testing, think condoms: herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis are also passed on through the mouth. And no blowjobs with a cold sore: herpes can travel from the lips to the genitals.

Variations to take it furtherVariation 1: deep throat, at your own pace

We call it deep throat when his penis goes past the uvula.

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Your questions

What people wonder.

How do I avoid gagging?

Stay in control of the depth: you do the moving, he stays still. Mouth wide open, plenty of saliva, relax, stick your tongue out and tilt your head to the side to open up your throat. Come back up regularly to breathe. Past the uvula, the reflex is almost unavoidable without practice, and nothing says you have to go there.

What if I don't like the taste of semen?

It happens, and nothing says you have to swallow, or even take it in your mouth. Decide together beforehand: he can finish by hand in front of you, or on your skin. Better to say so in advance than to pull back at the last moment.

My jaw hurts, what can I do?

Let your hand take over: a simple, gentle stroke keeps him feeling good while your jaw relaxes. You can switch like this before, during or after, and even skip the mouth altogether on nights when you're not in the mood.

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