Techniques Step-by-step guide · 8 steps -18

How to find and stimulate the G-spot

A slightly rough patch just behind the pubic bone, one that prefers pressure to friction and desire to haste. Here's how to find it on your own, show it to your partner, stimulate it with a come-hither curl of the fingers, and what to do about that funny urge to pee... which sometimes ends in a gush.

Duration30 min

DifficultyMedium

IntensityIntense

Props a sex toy, a clear speculum, a mirror, a torch, water-based lube

Start

A close couple in a warmly lit bedroom, his hand resting tenderly on the lower belly of his partner as she lies back. — Step 1Find it on your own first

See in Photo Comic art

Find it on your own first

Kneel, or lie on your back with your legs raised. Sitting or squatting, you'll often reach it more easily. If the urge to pee worries you, make your first attempts sitting on the toilet, with an empty bladder.
Slide two fingers into your vagina and explore. The back wall is fairly smooth and often not very sensitive, and right at the far end, you can feel the rounded bump of the cervix.
Turn your fingers so the pads face your belly. About 4 or 5 cm from the entrance, just behind the pubic bone (which you can probably feel too), the wall changes texture: slightly rough, bumpy. For some women, the area is a little further in.
Press gently on it, as if reaching for your bladder. A sharp, almost painful sensation, like a sudden need to pee? That's it. It won't turn you on just yet, and that's normal: you'll stimulate this area once you're aroused.
Curious to see it? With a clear plastic speculum (from a pharmacy) opened sideways rather than the usual way, a mirror between your legs and a torch, you can make out how the area differs in look and texture.

Show your partner

Let your partner in on your discoveries: purely because of the angle, they'll often be the one stimulating your G-spot. Explain what you felt, describe the difference in texture, then guide their hand with yours.
Before you start, also talk about the urge to pee that can crop up at first. Flagged in advance, it's less of a surprise: it's a perfectly normal reaction.
Clean hands, short, smoothly filed nails: on such a sensitive area, a sharp nail or a finger pressing too hard soon hurts.
If the thought of peeing bothers you, a trip to the toilet just before means you can be sure your bladder is empty.

Build desire before going in

From here on, it's mostly her partner doing the work, and her doing the guiding. First rule: don't go near the vagina straight away. Start by caressing her clitoris, at length.
If the glans of the clitoris is too sensitive for direct contact (that's common), stroke the shaft instead, the small, mobile cord you can feel under the skin as you move up towards her mound.
Watch for the signs: shorter, faster breathing, inner labia swollen and darker, a well-lubricated vagina. With arousal, the G-spot swells too, up to the size of a 50-cent coin or bigger, and becomes much easier to find.

Go in gently and find it again

She lies on her back with her legs bent, or face down, a position in which fingers often reach the area more easily.
Go in with one finger, two if she's very aroused, but never before she's really wet. If anything catches, a little lube.
Palm turned towards her belly (upwards if she's on her back, towards the mattress if she's face down), work your way around the wall to find the most sensitive spot, then come back to the front, just behind the pubic bone, 4 or 5 cm from the entrance.
She guides you, out loud or with her hand on yours: higher, lower, there. You're looking for the slightly rough texture she described to you.

Come-hither fingersPress, don't rub

Curl your fingers slightly into a hook and work them in an arc: the movement doesn't end at the far end of the vagina, but against the front wall, on the bladder side.
Basic rhythm: about one press per second. Alternate lighter and firmer presses, watching her reactions to find the right balance.
If it's too much, ease off at once. The first sensation can be sharp, almost painful: you're after her pleasure, not an endurance test.

The classic mistake

A straight in-and-out, from the entrance to the far end, mimicking penetration. The G-spot responds to small presses instead.

The first sensation can be sharp, almost painful: you're after her pleasure, not an endurance test.
Step 5 · Come-hither fingers

Bring in the clitoris

The G-spot does better with company: pleasure often starts at the clitoris before spreading inside, and most women need at least some caressing of the clitoris to come.
While your fingers keep up their hooked presses, take care of her clitoris with your mouth, and watch how she reacts.
She can also stroke her own clitoris while you stay on the G-spot. That's no admission of failure: sometimes it's the simplest way to come.
Coordinating the two takes a little practice: slow down rather than speed up, and keep your attention on her so your movements don't turn mechanical.

Get past the urge to pee

At first, G-spot stimulation often brings on an urge to pee, or a slight discomfort. That's normal, and it's actually a sign your fingers are in the right place.
Ease off the pressure, without stopping. It can take up to a minute for the urge to give way to pleasant sensations: usually, it fades as arousal climbs.
If the discomfort really stops her enjoying it, don't push: she can go back to exploring on her own first, at her own pace, before trying again together.

Let it build, sometimes all the way to a gush

Just before orgasm, at the height of arousal, is when she's most likely to enjoy your presses on her G-spot.
Some women come through the G-spot, others simply enjoy it as one caress among many. Those who know the orgasm that comes from inside often describe it as different: more whole-body, in broader waves that stretch out over time.
At peak arousal, fluid may gush from the urethra: this is female ejaculation, better known as squirting. The amount ranges from a teaspoon or less to an abundant gush in women known as squirters. The few milky drops come from small glands around the urethra, the abundant gush mostly from the bladder, very diluted. Nothing dirty or abnormal about it: it's a pleasure reflex.
If it comes, let it. Many women have learned to hold back, embarrassed, afraid they've wet themselves and will be rejected. Reassured and relaxed, those who have this ability get even more pleasure from it. And if nothing gushes, nothing's missing: not every woman experiences it.

Who it's for, and when

Who it's for: any woman curious about her inner sensations, alone or with a partner, and partners who want to learn the move. No special flexibility needed: what it takes above all is patience and talking.

When: never from a cold start, always after long caresses, ideally just after a first orgasm or as she gets close to one. Pick a time free of tiredness and ticking clocks: in the morning, the body is rested, whereas late at night, if she's exhausted, it's better to rest a little first.

No pressure: not every woman has a sensitive G-spot, and the subject is still debated. If the area does nothing for her, that's neither a failure nor something missing: the exploration has no goal other than her pleasure, and the G-spot remains one caress among many.

Precautions: a sharp sensation at first contact is part of the game, but pain that persists deserves a doctor's or a sex therapist's opinion. The same goes for recurrent urinary infections, pregnancy or limited mobility (there are several ways to settle in: kneeling, on your back with legs raised, sitting, squatting or face down). Peeing after sex helps flush out bacteria, and fingers that have touched the anus get washed before going back to the vagina.

Variations and refinementsVariation 1: mouth on the clitoris, fingers on the G-spot

She lies on her back, legs open, her partner between her thighs. The mouth takes care of the clitoris while two fingers stay on the G-spot.

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The album · Photo

How to find and stimulate the G-spot, in pictures.

A man's hand gently caresses his partner's lower belly and hip, in a warmly lit bedroom, for tender foreplay.

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-18 2 more illustrations for members The same scenes in Comic art, 2 nude versions. Members only: a free account is enough, no bank card. See them

Your questions

What people wonder.

Is it normal to feel like you need to pee?

Yes, in fact it's a sign you're in the right place. At first, G-spot stimulation often brings on an urge to pee or a slight discomfort. Ease off the pressure without stopping: it can take up to a minute for that urge to give way to pleasant sensations. For peace of mind, go to the toilet beforehand.

Is squirting fluid actually urine?

For the most part. The clear, abundant gush comes from the bladder, very diluted, almost colourless and odourless, and mixed with secretions from small glands around the urethra (the female equivalent of the prostate). The few milky drops of female ejaculation, on the other hand, come from those glands alone. Nothing dirty or abnormal about it: it's a pleasure reflex. Not every woman experiences it, and it isn't a goal in itself.

What if we can't find anything?

That's not a failure. Not every woman has a sensitive G-spot, and many are mostly sensitive elsewhere: near the entrance to the vagina, on the sides or right at the back. Try again when she's very aroused, or just after an orgasm, when the area is swollen. And keep it playful: searching for the G-spot is already making love.

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