Positions Step-by-step guide · 7 steps -18

The face-to-face lotus

Sitting entwined, eyes locked

With her sitting on his thighs, legs crossed behind his back, there you are, wrapped in each other's arms, eyes locked. In the lotus, you barely move and you breathe together, and yet the sensations are intense. Here it is, step by step.

Duration20 min

DifficultyMedium

IntensityGentle

Props a cushion

Start

A couple entwined, sitting face to face on a rug, forehead to forehead, in the warm light of a living room in the evening: the lotus, all about shared breath. — Step 1He sits, back straight

See in Photo Comic art

He sits, back straight

The lotus isn't something you slip into cold. Start with kisses and caresses, and wait until you're both properly aroused (full erection included).
Settle on the floor, in a warm room, since you'll be moving very little. He sits cross-legged, hands resting on his knees.
His back stays straight at the waist, barely rounded at the shoulders and neck, chin slightly lowered. That slight curve takes the pressure off the chest. Avoid the military stance, shoulders back and head high: it keeps all the strength in the upper body instead of letting it flow down.
If sitting cross-legged pulls, he simply stretches his legs out in front of him. Everything else works the same way.

She sits on his thighs

She comes to face him and sits on his thighs, with a cushion under her bottom, her legs on either side of his hips.
One of you guides his penis by hand to the entrance to her vagina. Then she sinks down slowly, at her own pace, and makes that entry last as long as she likes. Feeling the vagina open little by little around him is a very sweet sensation, for both of you.
No sudden moves at this stage: take care not to bend his penis or let it slip out of the vagina. With a condom, a water-based lube is strongly recommended (never petroleum jelly or oil).

Her legs crossed behind his back

Once she's comfortably seated, she crosses her legs at the small of his back, so they wrap around his waist.
Arms complete the embrace: she rests her hands on his shoulders or wraps her arms around him, and he holds her by the waist.
Draw closer until you're pressed against each other, both upper bodies upright.
If her legs get tired, she uncrosses them and lets them rest around him. The only contact that's truly essential is between your genitals.

Look at each other, without moving

Before the slightest movement, look into each other's eyes. That's where the lotus begins.
Stay pressed together and still for a while, even if the urge to move takes hold. That's exactly the point: stillness fans the desire to move.
Face to face, everything is within reach of kisses and caresses: mouth, ears, hair, skin. And each of you can watch pleasure rising on the other's face. Eye contact is part of the intensity.

That's exactly the point: stillness fans the desire to move.
Step 4 · Look at each other, without moving

Breathe together

Let your breathing settle into the same rhythm. In each other's arms, faces close, most couples get there naturally, until they're breathing as one.
Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, without forcing: the in-breath keeps its natural pace. Let the breath sink into your belly and your body relax into the position.
Depending on what you're after, this shared breath will turn the moment into a calm interlude or a surge of arousal. It's your call.

Rocking, nice and slow

She starts the movement: small, slow rolls of the hips, back and forth. In the lotus, the tiniest movement is enough for intense sensations, no need to do more.
By playing with the tilt of her pelvis, she looks for the angle that gives her the most pleasure (only she knows it). Sitting on him like this, she can work her pelvic floor muscles and stimulate her G-spot.
Pressed against him, she can also rub herself against her partner: her clitoris gets its share along the way, and she's the one who decides how much.
He holds her by the waist or hips and goes with the movement without imposing it. Watch out for sudden moves: they can bend and injure an erect penis, and that kind of accident means going straight to the emergency department.

Make it last, hovering on the edge

Alternate rocking and pausing. During the pauses, stay perfectly still, held tight against each other, and breathe together. These moments of complete relaxation are part of the game.
The idea, for him, is to feel ejaculation coming early enough to stay on the crest, hovering. As soon as he feels it approaching, he says so, you stop for a moment, then start again very gently.
She can help him by squeezing her vagina once, very hard, around his penis. Repeated contractions at that moment would have the opposite effect.
To change position, he pulls out completely first, then you settle into the new one.

Who it's for, and when

The lotus is for couples who want to slow down and find each other again, eyes locked. It's the quintessential tantric position: in that tradition, keeping both bodies upright lets sexual energy, the famous kundalini, rise all the way to the lovers' heads. You're free to see it as just one more game, or as the start of another way of attuning your bodies.

The right moment: never from cold. Rather once arousal is well under way, after kisses and caresses, or partway through lovemaking, when you feel like slowing down.

It takes a little flexibility, hence its intermediate level. Good to know: held for a very long time, the cross-legged posture isn't harmless. Long meditations in lotus have left some monks with painful sciatica, so change position as soon as anything pulls or hurts.

If you're pregnant, have a delicate back or limited mobility, ask a health professional for advice first. And if pain appears during or after sex, talk to a doctor or a sex therapist.

Variations to take it furtherVariation 1: the still lotus

Settled in as in the steps, pressed together, you stop all movement of the hips. Only the vagina does the work.

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The album · Photo

The face-to-face lotus, in pictures.

-18Members-only illustration

Sitting entwined in the lotus, he gently holds her waist and their eyes meet, forehead to forehead, in the warm light of the living room.

-18Members-only illustration

-18

6 more illustrations for members The same scenes in Comic art, 4 nude versions. Members only: a free account is enough, no bank card. See them

Your questions

What people wonder.

Do you need to be flexible to hold the lotus?

A little, hence its intermediate level, but there's no need to be a contortionist. If sitting cross-legged pulls, he stretches his legs out in front of him. If her legs get tired, she uncrosses them, or leans back on her hands. At the slightest twinge, change position.

You move so little: do you still come?

That's the whole paradox of the lotus: you barely move, and yet the sensations are intense. But here, orgasm isn't the goal: stay present to what you're feeling, during and after. And if you feel like finishing another way, he pulls out completely, then you change position.

What if he goes a little soft along the way?

No need to worry, and above all, no sudden moves. Slow down even more: very slow movements can help the erection come back. A slightly soft penis slips out of the vagina easily, and it's the next sudden movement that risks injuring it.

In the same spirit