Positions Step-by-step guide · 8 steps -18

The Andromache, slow and gentle

Her on top, setting the pace

Sitting on top of him, she's the one who sets it all: the rhythm, the depth, the angle. Leaning a little forward for the clitoris, a little back for the G-spot: here's the Andromache, or cowgirl, move by move, without forcing a thing.

Duration15 min

DifficultyEasy

IntensitySustained

Props water-based lube, cushions

Start

A couple entwined in a bedroom with linen sheets, she sits on him and leans forward, hands on his chest, in the soft glow of a bedside lamp. — Step 1Settle in astride him

See in Photo Comic art

Settle in astride him

He lies flat on his back, legs straight. You kneel astride his hips, facing him, one knee on each side of his pelvis.
Don't sit down straight away. Kiss, caress each other, and save the genitals for last, once your hands have roamed everywhere else.
Get the inner labia nice and wet, with saliva or a water-based lube. Avoid petroleum jelly and baby oil, which can upset the vaginal flora and aren't compatible with condoms.

Guide him in, very gently

With one hand, hold his penis so it stands straight up from his belly, and place the head at the entrance to your vagina. Your other hand rests flat on his chest for balance.
Sit down a little, rise slightly, sit down a little further. Inch by inch, you decide how far he goes in and how fast.
He doesn't push. He stays still, hands resting on your thighs, and lets you settle in. Moving too soon, before he's properly inside, is the surest way to make him slip out of you.

Ride up and down, or roll your hips

First move: you ride up and down on him, lifting yourself on your knees. Start with small, slow strokes, then lengthen them if you feel like it.
Second move: you stay seated and roll your hips, back and forth or in circles. He stays inside you, only your pelvis moves, and the angle shifts with every pass.
Switch between the two as the mood takes you, speed up, slow down: the tempo is all yours. He can go with the movement, hands on your hips, without forcing it. If he feels his orgasm coming too fast, he tells you: you pause, perfectly still, then start again.

Dial in the depth

When you're sitting with your full weight on him, upright, penetration is at its deepest: the head of his penis can reach the back of your vagina and touch your cervix. It's intense, best saved for the moments when you really want it.
For lighter penetration, keep some of your weight on your knees and don't sink all the way down. The movement then focuses on the outer part of the vagina.
If it bumps or starts to feel unpleasant, rise up a little, or tilt your pelvis forward (see step 6). No need to stop everything or explain yourself: when it comes to depth, you hold the reins.

No need to stop everything or explain yourself: when it comes to depth, you hold the reins.
Step 4 · Dial in the depth

Lean forward, clitoris against him

Put your hands flat on his chest and let your upper body sink towards him. To get even closer, come down onto your forearms, chest to chest.
Leaning in like this, you feel your clitoris rub against his belly and pubic bone with every movement. Favour small strokes and grinding your hips over long up-and-down movements: it's this rhythmic clitoral stimulation that many women love here.
He keeps his hands on your hips and can meet your movements with his own hips if you ask him to. Your breasts come within reach of his hands and mouth: he caresses them gently at first, then gradually more firmly, asking you what you like.

Lean back, heading for the G-spot

Move your hands back and place them behind you on the bed, on either side of his legs, or on his thighs. Your upper body tilts back, supported by your straight arms.
Tilt your pelvis forward. The head of his penis no longer bumps against the back of your vagina, it presses on the front wall, where the G-spot lies. Keep your movements small and slow, looking for the angle where the pressure feels best.
Once you're settled in, free one hand for your clitoris (see the next step). He enjoys the view and can stroke your thighs.

The clitoris, at your fingertips

Your hand or his: in this position, each of you has at least one hand free. Moisten your fingers with your own wetness (or a little lube) so they glide instead of rubbing dry.
Stroke the clitoris up and down, back and forth, or in circles if direct contact is too intense.
Start slowly and lightly, then go faster and firmer to find out what feels best: pressure and rhythm vary from one woman to the next. Once they've found the right touch, many women keep it exactly as it is all the way to orgasm, while others stop just short and pick up again a little later.

When your thighs tire

Riding works the thighs, and the position gets tiring in the end. No need to stop altogether: lie down on him, legs straight or slightly bent, and carry on with small movements, chest to chest.
Or hand over to him: he holds you by the hips and goes with your movements, a little faster when he feels your pleasure rising, while you let yourself be carried along.
As you come, he can draw you down against him and keep going, very gently. And afterwards, stay wrapped up in each other: cuddles are part of the programme.

Who it's for, and when

It's one of the three great basic positions, along with missionary and doggy style, and it suits almost every body type. It even smooths out height differences. The one thing to watch: if she's noticeably heavier than him, she keeps some of her weight on her knees and hands so as not to squash him.

It works for beginners as well as couples who know each other inside out. For the woman who wants to find, on her own terms, the rhythm, depth and angle that feel good. For the man who loves watching his partner, caressing her breasts and, for once, lying back and letting it happen. And for anyone after penetration that strokes the clitoris too.

As for timing: for her to take the lead partway through lovemaking, or on nights when he'd rather go along for the ride. It also works for winding down gently after a more athletic position, when you're both starting to tire.

Precautions: be generous with a water-based lube (see step 1). If deep penetration hurts, stay shallow, and if the pain persists, talk to a doctor or a sex therapist. If you're pregnant, have painful knees or a painful back, or limited mobility, ask a health professional for advice first (lying on him with your legs straight at least spares you from kneeling).

Variations to take it furtherVariation 1: squatting, heading for the G-spot

Still astride him, come up off your knees: squat, feet flat on the bed, one on each side of his hips. It's more athletic than kneeling, one to try when your thighs are feeling fresh.

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The Andromache, slow and gentle, in pictures.

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Your questions

What people wonder.

Why is it called the Andromache?

Legend has it that Andromache, Hector's wife during the Trojan War, made love to her husband by riding him. It also goes by cowgirl, or simply woman on top. Long seen as a sign of female dominance and male weakness, the position in fact works for both of them: she leads, he rests, watches and caresses.

My thighs soon start to ache. Is that normal?

Yes, riding works the thighs hard, and the position gets tiring after a while. Roll your hips instead of riding up and down in big strokes, lie down on top of him, or let him take over, holding you by the hips. You have nothing to prove.

What if penetration goes too deep?

That's exactly the beauty of this position: when it comes to depth, you hold the reins. Stay slightly raised on your knees, or tilt your pelvis forward so the head of his penis stops bumping against the back of your vagina. If the pain comes back every time or lingers after sex, talk to a doctor or a sex therapist.

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