Positions Step-by-step guide · 8 steps -18

Missionary, the long version

Face to face, in no hurry

Forget the dull, dutiful version. A pillow under her hips, his weight on his forearms, legs that rise one notch at a time and all the time in the world to kiss: here's missionary, the long version, move by move.

Duration30 min

DifficultyEasy

IntensitySustained

Props a pillow or a cushion, water-based lube

Start

A couple entwined face to face in a big bed, forehead to forehead, in the amber light of a bedside lamp. — Step 1Give yourselves time, on a soft bed

See in Photo Comic art

Give yourselves time, on a soft bed

The long version starts well before penetration. Pick a moment when nobody is watching the clock, and take the time to touch, caress, cuddle and massage each other.
Settle on something soft and comfortable. On cold kitchen tiles or the sand of a beach, the same position has a very different flavour.
Keep a pillow (or a cushion) and a water-based lube within reach. The pillow makes its entrance straight away, the lube later, the moment anything starts to drag.

The pillow under her hips

She lies on her back, legs apart and stretched out on the bed. He slips the pillow under her bottom: her pelvis rises, and her head stays lower, below her hips.
With her bottom raised like this, her vulva tilts up towards him. He can reach it more easily and go deeper, even if his penis is on the modest side.
Adjust the height together until she feels nicely settled. She's the one underneath: her comfort has the final say.

She's the one underneath: her comfort has the final say.
Step 2 · The pillow under her hips

Him on top, his weight on his forearms

He lies on top of her, between her legs, and props himself up on his forearms, one on each side of her shoulders. His chest stays slightly raised, just enough not to weigh on hers.
That's the weak spot of badly done missionary: many women feel squashed and struggle to breathe, especially when he's noticeably heavier than her. The forearms are there to carry that weight.
She has to be able to breathe freely. If it feels heavy, she says so, and he comes up onto his forearms or kneels upright between her thighs: his weight then rests on his own knees.

Brush against her before going in

No rushing. Propped on one forearm, he guides himself with his free hand and first brushes the outside of her vulva with the tip of his penis, without going in.
When she wants him (a look or a word is enough), he slides in, gently and slowly.
The position calls for a good, firm erection. If it isn't there yet, go back to caresses: there's no hurry, that's the whole point of the long version.

Moving from the hips, slowly at first

He moves in and out using only his hips. His upper body stays resting on his forearms, steady, right up against her.
Start shallow: he barely goes in, slides out, comes back, staying at the entrance to the vagina, the head of his penis caressing her labia with every pass. The movement stays languid for a good while, then becomes more precise and firmer.
He's the one in charge of rhythm and depth. He watches her, listens to her, and speeds up when he feels her pleasure building, and only if she wants him to.

Bring the legs up

With her legs stretched out flat, her pubic bone rubs against his and her clitoris gets more attention. This is the gentlest version.
For more depth, she raises her legs higher and crosses them behind him, her feet on the small of his back. The higher her legs go, the more her bottom lifts, and the deeper and more intense the penetration becomes.
Legs locked behind him, she takes back control of the tempo: with her heels, she gives his buttocks little rhythmic nudges to spur him on.
If it bumps deep inside or gets too intense, she brings her legs back down. That's another way to adjust the depth, without interrupting anything.

Look, kiss, hold each other

This is missionary's great asset: you're face to face. You can look each other straight in the eye and kiss as much as you like.
Make the most of it and hold each other close. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her to him, without dropping his full weight on her. She links her arms around his neck.
By shifting his weight onto one forearm, he frees a hand to caress her breasts, right there before his eyes.

Know when to stop, and finish in each other's arms

Long doesn't have to mean marathon. If things start to chafe, add more lube. If it still gets sore, or if one of you starts snoring, that's the signal: stop.
Don't part on one last stroke. Stay wrapped up in each other: a big cuddle, sweet nothings, tenderness. After sex, that dessert counts as much as the main course.
If one of you is sleepy, let them drift off. Nothing stops you picking up again later in the night, if you both want more.

Who it's for, and when

Missionary suits almost every body type, as long as the erection is good and firm. Good to know: a height gap between partners doesn't matter here. It's a comfortable basic position that opens the door to a whole host of fun variations.

It's the position for couples who love looking at each other and kissing while they make love. The one underneath can let go completely and think only of her own pleasure: that's her absolute right, and she's only passive if she chooses to be. The one on top picks the rhythm and depth, and enjoys the view of her breasts.

The long version is made for evenings when you've got time to spare. Alternate it with quicker sessions: served too often, even the finest dish ends up losing its appeal.

Precautions: the position gets trickier when one of you is very heavily built, and a heavy man can crush his partner (hence the forearms, or the kneeling posture). After the first few months of pregnancy, it's best avoided: ask a health professional for advice, and think about side-lying positions such as spooning. If penetration hurts or your mobility is limited (raised legs call for a little flexibility), talk to a doctor or a sex therapist.

Variations to take it furtherVariation 1: one leg raised (the half-pressed position)

She keeps one leg stretched out on the bed and raises the other. Pointed straight at the ceiling, it takes some flexibility. Simply bent, knee towards her chest, it works just as well.

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The album · Photo

Missionary, the long version, in pictures.

-18Members-only illustration

A couple kiss tenderly in a big bed, forehead to forehead, fingers intertwined on the pillow.

-18Members-only illustration

-18

-18 4 more illustrations for members The same scenes in Comic art, 4 nude versions. Members only: a free account is enough, no bank card. See them

Your questions

What people wonder.

Isn't missionary a bit vanilla?

It's saddled with a dull, dutiful reputation: her lying still, him puffing away on top. But its flaws are more apparent than real. With a pillow under her hips, his weight on his forearms, a slow rhythm and ten or so ways to place the legs, it's another story. And it's the face-to-face position: you look into each other's eyes and kiss as much as you like.

What if she feels squashed?

It's a common complaint, especially when he's noticeably heavier than her. He comes up onto his forearms to carry his weight, or kneels upright between her thighs: his weight then rests on his own knees. She speaks up as soon as it feels heavy or she's short of breath, no waiting.

How do you make the pleasure last?

Play with depth and leg positions rather than speed: now shallow, now deeper, legs flat, then around his waist, then up on his shoulders. Changing the angle keeps monotony at bay. As natural lubrication can flag over time, keep a water-based lube within reach. And if things still get sore or one of you switches off, stop and cuddle: a good long version isn't a marathon.

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