Attraction.

How can you tell if someone is attracted to you? Not from a single gesture, but from a cluster of signals that repeat and all point the same way: the chest turned toward you, the body leaning forward, the gaze that keeps coming back, the voice that softens. One clue proves nothing. Several consistent clues that recur as the conversation goes on, that's already a serious lead.

What makes the exercise so unsettling is how fast it all plays out. In a fraction of a second, well before the first word is spoken, your brain has already formed an idea of the person in front of you, and that famous first impression dies hard.

And words, precisely, don't tell the whole story. When the tone or the body contradicts what's being said, that's often what we trust. Hence that frustrating mismatch: the person says nice things, and yet something feels off.

The simplest marker for telling attraction from politeness comes down to one observation: someone who leans toward you is generally showing interest, someone who settles back against their chair is sending the opposite signal, boredom or the wish to be elsewhere. Politeness makes people smile. It rarely makes them lean in.

Before interpreting the slightest gesture, you need to know what this person looks like when they're completely relaxed. This is called setting a baseline: watching how they answer an ordinary question like "where are you from?", where their eyes go, how their voice sounds, what they do with their hands.

Without that reference point, you risk mistaking a permanent tic for a confession. Someone who has always touched their ear every three minutes isn't sending you any message, they just have a habit. Many of us have picked up awkward postures or stray gestures over the years that no longer mean anything.

Once that baseline is set, it's the changes that speak, and they show up in four registers: gestures, face, voice and the words themselves. The person who was calmly moving their hands and who, the moment you mention dinner, slides them under the table: that's a change.

Is eye contact a sign of interest or aggression? Both, and it's a matter of dosage. A gaze that's too evasive makes you look unsure of yourself or even insincere, a gaze locked onto the other person's eyes ends up seeming rude, intimidating, hostile.

The useful marker: we look at the other person longer while listening than while talking, and a gaze that's present for most of the exchange gives that impression of warm attention without the feeling of being scrutinized.

To avoid the power-drill effect, there's a simple trick: don't stare into their eyes, sweep their face. Gently shift your gaze every two seconds or so, from the eyes to the nose, from the nose to the lips. You look engaged, never threatening.

One last, precious detail: a genuine smile shows in the eyes, not the mouth. Real smiles crinkle the skin and create crow's feet at the corners of the eyelids. A smiling mouth with perfectly smooth eyes is often professional courtesy, nothing more.

Do crossed arms mean disinterest or just defensiveness? People often read them as a barrier: a first line of protection, a reflex that says "I'm expecting an attack". Arms and legs crossed together can signal someone closing off to whoever is in front of them, even if they smile and speak kindly.

Except that automatic interpretation is a classic dating trap. People also cross their arms for comfort, out of habit, or to concentrate better: the person may be thinking hard about what you just said.

So the right reaction isn't to jump to a conclusion, but to ask yourself: is there a reason they might feel uncomfortable right here, right now? A draft, the topic at hand, tiredness, or on the contrary a pleasant surprise they need to digest.

A discreet test works well: change the subject, lean in slightly, suggest something concrete. If the arms uncross within a minute and the chest turns back toward you, the barrier probably wasn't aimed at you.

Some gestures are even more closed than crossed arms, like resting your hand on your own opposite shoulder during a conversation. That arm cutting diagonally across the chest looks a lot like a shield: it often reads as a wish to protect yourself, or even to keep the other person at arm's length. On its own, the gesture proves nothing, but it's rarely innocent.

In the same family, watch for hands making stiff, tense, repetitive movements along the arms or thighs. Rubbing your legs back and forth is a self-soothing gesture that often betrays unease, here and now.

Another, more discreet retreating signal: stretching your legs out in front of you. It gives the impression you're trying to create distance or, frankly, to push the other person away. The same goes for anything that forms a physical barrier between you, including something as ordinary as a coffee cup set right in the middle of the table.

Conversely, when someone spontaneously moves their glass, bag or phone aside to clear the view between you, they've just opened the door. That little shift of an object often says more than a sentence.

To explain why people touch their nose over and over, one theory goes around: tension supposedly sends blood rushing to the nose and makes it itch. The explanation hasn't been proven, but the gesture often goes hand in hand with nerves. The person may be scratching because they're tense, anxious, or because they're saying something they don't quite own.

But beware of jumping to conclusions. Repeated contact between the fingers and the nose or eyes is one of those little gestures that help release stress, just like smoothing a beard or rubbing the back of the neck. These gestures are soothing, which is exactly why they turn into tics.

In a seduction context, nerves and attraction produce very similar symptoms: fidgeting, hands drifting up to the face, a need to move. Someone you really like can perfectly well scratch their nose while talking to you... because they really like you too.

What settles it is the whole picture. Scratched nose + chest turned toward you + gaze that keeps coming back + smile with crow's feet: read happy shyness. Scratched nose + body angled toward the exit + short answers: read discomfort, and ease off the pressure.

Someone who systematically hides their palms is often holding something back. Hands under the table, slipped into pockets, wrapped around a glass, fingers interlaced: people readily read this as a form of reserve, about what they know as much as what they feel.

The opposite gesture is just as telling. Palms facing up give an impression of honesty and engagement, and the other person often relaxes. Legend even has it that the handshake comes from this: showing your open palm proved you weren't hiding a weapon. The story can't be verified, but a visible hand is still reassuring.

Keeping your hands in your pockets for an entire drink therefore sends a blurry message: fear, embarrassment, or disinterest in what's going on. It's not necessarily aimed at you, but it slows the connection.

If you want to test gently, open your own hands. Rest them on the table, palms visible, calm gestures at belly height. Body mirroring is contagious: when the other person unconsciously copies your posture, it's one of the best signs the conversation is going well.

Hunching your head into your shoulders when a topic comes up is often a sign of unease: it's the typical movement of someone shielding themselves from slippery ground, or who'd rather not say everything. The neck disappears, the shoulders rise, the whole upper body closes up.

This gesture rarely comes alone. It's often paired with a clenched jaw and furrowed brows, all stress markers that say the conversation is creating anxiety, or that the person's mind is elsewhere.

Another signal from the same family: eyebrows rising when nothing calls for it. That lift often accompanies surprise, worry or fear (even if, when very brief, it also serves to greet someone or show interest). If the topic warrants none of that, something else may be going on beneath the words.

In seduction, the right response isn't to push but to lower the pressure: change the subject, take a pause, give it room to breathe. When we're nervous, the stomach tightens, breathing gets shallow, and we think less clearly. Giving the other person a real breather is worth more than ten extra questions.

Rocking back and forth, fidgeting, fiddling with your feet: these are the most ambiguous signs of all. People happily file them under signs of tension, even concealment, but they show up just as often in someone who's simply nervous, tired or uncomfortably seated.

The feet, above all, tell a story nobody is aware of. The more they tap the floor or swing, the more the body expresses nerves and worry. Conversely, two feet planted firmly, legs slightly apart, signal someone steady and available.

What you can use, on the other hand, is their direction. Feet pointing outwards or tucked back under the chair often betray a wish to leave, feet pointing toward you say the opposite. Same logic for the famous belly-button rule: if the person, once seated, squarely faces you, navel turned toward you rather than at an angle, that's a good sign.

Also watch for: constantly handling an object, fiddling with a phone, twirling a strand of hair. It's often a sign of boredom, sometimes of nerves, and it pulls attention away from everything being said. If the phone stays face down on the table, though, you're the priority.

Why do we hide our hands when we're nervous? Because we vaguely sense that they give us away: they tremble, they fidget, they move too fast. The trouble is that hiding them often comes across as distrust, or even as a sign that we don't believe what we're saying ourselves.

Talking with your hands, without overdoing it, has the opposite effect: arms open in front of you, small, measured movements at belly height, and every word gains strength. Gestures that show the palms instantly make you look more confident and more sincere.

One technical detail is worth a closer look: timing. Spontaneous gestures go along with the words, they arrive at the same moment. When they follow the sentence, as if tacked on afterwards, it's often because the person is monitoring what they say.

Translation for a drink for two: hands that come alive along with the words mean spontaneity. Hands that are frozen, hidden, or that spring to life just after a sentence deserve a question mark, not a verdict.

An upright posture speaks of self-confidence, not necessarily of attraction to you. The brain links power with the space a person takes up: standing tall, shoulders back, hand gestures pointing downward, an open, expansive attitude, that's what tells you instantly who's in charge in a room.

Curling up, on the other hand, means "shrinking" your posture: you take up less space and project less strength. Slumped shoulders make you look tired and weak, and that can weigh on the person's own mood in return, not just on the image they give off.

So yes, that magnetic person at the bar is probably comfortable in their own skin. That says absolutely nothing about what they think of you. Confidence is a general trait, attraction is a directed one.

To find out whether that self-assurance is aimed at you, watch the orientation and openness of the chest. An open chest can signal interest and attraction, but in many species it also serves to impress and look stronger. Overdone, it even reads as arrogance. Look instead at who that posture is turned toward, and whether it changes when you come closer.

Is a head tilt a sign of interest? When the head and the upper body lean toward you, yes: this movement shows someone is listening closely and wants to be, literally and metaphorically, closer to the person they're talking to. It's one of the most telling signals.

But the nuance is real: tilting the head to the side, on its own, is also among the gestures associated with tension, just like scratching or swaying. Same gesture, two possible readings.

How do you decide? By the axis. A tilt toward you, with an upper body that follows, a smile that reaches the eyes and regular nods, is active listening. A head that tips sideways while the body stays upright or pulls back is more likely mental processing, sometimes discomfort.

A word about nodding, which is often overinterpreted: nodding doesn't mean agreeing with everything, it simply means listening. And when it becomes excessive, it often reflects an anxious search for approval, a wish to look good in your eyes. Which, mind you, isn't bad news.

Is instinct reliable for spotting a lie or a real lack of interest? Only partly. When it comes to unmasking a lie, most people do hardly better than flipping a coin.

One of the reasons is a little humbling: our judgment is clouded by the relationship. We refuse to believe that this particular person is lying to us or doesn't like us, and that blindness peaks with the people we know best. The higher the emotional stakes, the worse we read.

That said, intuition shouldn't be thrown out. It's very good at catching blatant inconsistencies: that moment when someone says "I'm so happy to see you" while stepping back, or states something while giving a tiny "no" shake of the head. When the body contradicts the words, it's often the body you should listen to.

So instinct works as an alarm, not as proof. It tells you there's something to check. The rest of the job takes questions, observation and attention to pauses, not a gut conviction you declare without ever putting it to the test.

Are there reliable signs of lying in body language? No. No single gesture betrays deception: what you observe are signs of stress, anxiety, tension or embarrassment... and embarrassment isn't a lie.

Eye contact illustrates the confusion perfectly. For a long time we were taught that liars avoid your eyes, yet a shifting gaze is anything but a reliable clue, and plenty of liars actually look their interlocutor straight in the eye. Enough to shake a few certainties.

Add the cultural dimension, which turns everything upside down. In many cultures, in Asia, Africa or Latin America, sustained eye contact can come across as insistent, even aggressive, and avoiding someone's gaze is a mark of respect. Reading a lowered gaze as disinterest can therefore be a complete misreading.

Hence the right stance to take: your reading of the body doesn't detect lies, it picks up discomfort. The right question isn't "is he lying to me?" but "what's bothering him?". And don't play detective: a single sign proves nothing, and if you suspect every gesture, you'll miss out on some lovely encounters.