Anal sex

Anal sex, also called anal intercourse or anal penetration, means inserting the penis into a partner's anus and then the rectum. It happens between men, between a man and a woman, and also with a finger or a dildo worn in a harness (the strap-on), which lets a woman anally penetrate a man (that's pegging) or another woman.

Anatomically, the anus is nothing like the vagina: it doesn't lubricate itself and it's closed by two sphincters, one of which you can't consciously control. Hence the three practical rules: lots of lube (water- or silicone-based, used generously and topped up), a slow build-up (one finger, two, then more if the desire is there), and it's the person being penetrated who sets the pace and gives the green light.

In practice, start by caressing the outside of the anus, wait for the muscle to relax on its own, ease in with very gentle pressure, then hold still while the body adjusts. A position where the person being penetrated controls the descent (on top, or lying face down with a pillow under the pelvis) helps a lot. In men, indirect stimulation of the prostate partly explains the pleasure, and in women, the nerve endings shared with the clitoral area. A hand on the clitoris or penis at the same time often makes the whole experience more enjoyable.

As for precautions, a condom is still worth using even in a steady relationship, because the anal lining is fragile and the risk of passing on infections is higher there. Never go from the anus to the vagina or mouth without changing condoms or washing, keep nails short, and never force anything. Sharp pain, bleeding or discomfort that lingers afterwards is a reason to see a doctor, not something to put up with in silence.

Not to be confused with anilingus (caressing the anus with the tongue) or with butt plug play or prostate massage, which remain anal stimulation without deep penetration. The old word for it, sodomy, also drags a heavy legal and moral history behind it: the practice was long considered a crime and, in some old legal codes, the term "sodomy" even covered fellatio or cunnilingus. Today, in everyday language, it simply refers to one practice among others, perfectly ordinary when both sides want it.

Synonyms : sodomy, anal intercourse, anal penetration, butt sex, rectal intercourse