69 position

The 69 position is mutual, simultaneous oral sex: the two partners lie head to toe, each with their face level with the other's genitals. The number itself sketches the scene, two bodies inverted, the loops of the 6 and the 9 standing for the heads.

For a straight couple, that means cunnilingus and fellatio at the same time. Between two women, cunnilingus both ways, between two men, fellatio both ways: the principle stays the same, it's the reciprocity that makes a 69.

In practice, there are three variations. Lying on top of each other, the one on top has to hold their weight on elbows and knees (tiring, and the partner underneath soon ends up with a craned neck). On your sides, facing each other, each with one leg bent: this is the most comfortable version, the one that lets you take your time and relax. Sitting, with one partner straddling the other's face: more acrobatic, best saved for supple bodies and soft rugs. A pillow under the neck or the bottom makes all the difference, so don't go without.

The real difficulty of the 69 isn't technical, it's mental: you're giving and receiving at the same time, your attention is split, and many people find their technique slips as soon as their own pleasure starts to rise. Hence the appeal of taking turns, a few minutes where one focuses while the other lets go, then you swap. A big difference in height between the two bodies also means shifting the hips or slipping in a pillow. Fingers can join in, vagina or anus, but only if it's been agreed in advance: as a surprise, in this position, it's the surest way to kill the mood.

For the record: the 69 is not penetration, and its name doesn't come from the Kama Sutra (it isn't the sixty-ninth figure in it, whatever the legend says), even though the text already describes the practice as the congress of the crow. As for neighbouring terms, the 68 is a pub joke ("you do me and I'll owe you one"), the idea being that one does all the work and the other returns the favour later. And as with any oral sex, sexually transmitted infections come into it: condoms, dental dams and a doctor's advice if in doubt.

Synonyms : sixty-nine, 69, soixante-neuf, top-to-tail position